Love vs Lust. It’s can be hard to tell the difference in the beginning, so let’s clarify before things get to serious.
The definition of lust.
Lust is pretty simple. It’s when your brain is literally hijacked by hormones. The very primitive animal part of your brain what’s to indulge yourself in a certain person’s body. You want to feel them, smell them, touch them, be naked with them. You crave them just by seeing them.
In lust, typically you’ll feel:
- More physically attracted to this person than anyone else in the room
- You have would imagine you would have amazing sex together
- Fits the ideal “look” of the person you had in your head
And you’ve seen it happen- people in lust have convinced themselves that they are in a deep and meaningful connection with this person even if they hardly know them and only experience the feelings listed above.
The most challenging question we need to ask ourselves when entering a relationship is how do we know if it’s love or lust we’re experiencing?
Here are 3 signs to determine whether it’s love vs lust:
1. Is conversation intellectually stimulating?
You’ve seen it – when two people are in love they can talk for hours and hours. They are absolutely engaged and hanging on to each other’s last word as they exchange opinions. They are fascinated with each others view of the world.
If it’s lust, you’ll notice that they don’t have much to share and talk about. They might enjoy doing things together, but deep conversations just don’t happen because neither find the conversation intellectually stimulating.
2. Do you share the same values and beliefs?
When it comes to lust, you see people are only attracted to each other superficially through visual chemistry.
When you’re in love it requires two people to see, understand, and respect the other’s view of the world. Typically because they see part of themselves in the other and they share the same values and beliefs about life, relationships, healthy, money, friends, family, faith etc.. Love requires two people to connect in their values. Without similar values, you’ll question each others judgement, reasoning, etc.
When you feel that the things that matter most to you are equally important to your partner, that’s the difference between love and lust.
3. Are you emotionally honest with each other?
When you are in lust, you don’t show your true emotions or feelings. In fact, you’re likely wearing a “mask” around them. Lust requires you to keep your walls up because it prevents you from getting too involved.
Before having sex, make sure to ask yourself if your partner cares to get to know you better? Do you spend quality time together to have real conversations? If not, you may be in lust.
How do you know if it’s love? If you can both candidly share your feelings and speak up about what’s really going on. If you’re saving real conversations for your friends later on – that’s a sure sign it’s lust.