“So what has you traveling so much? Just for fun or work?”
“Both, but mostly for work.”
“That’s awesome, what do you do?”
“Trainings for companies, kind of like a motivational speaker.”
“What?! You’re a motivational speaker?! So am I, except I don’t get paid for it.”
(Luckily, he found me hilarious.)
This was just fraction of the 4-hour conversation Jairek and I had the day we met… from the beginning, there was a mutual love and respect for what each other did and the things we were passionate about.
Fast forward to months down the road when I was leaving the 9-5 scene and going to start my own marketing consulting firm. Less than 24 hours into becoming a free agent, he scooped me right up.
I had a background in business and marketing with a love for anything positive and growth-oriented that illuminated potential and helped others.
His business checked all those boxes and more, but he had different business and marketing training and could use some help in the areas of my expertise.
So we started working together.
…and we got married somewhere in there and lived haaaaapily ever after… 🙂
After all what could go wrong, we were blissfully in love, passionate about people, making an impact and loooooved being around each other.
I should also mention it was a dream of mine to build a very successful business together with my husband one day.
We were #LIVINGTHEDREAM
So tell me why… roughly 2.5 years in I could be in TEARS in the middle of meetings with him. I’d never shed a tear in business in all my life. And NO, it wasn’t that time of the month. Psssh. Why was he so damn frustrated (seemingly with me) after nearly every meeting?! (I’d never seen him so frustrated, ever!) Now I know that was probably because I was crying.
Now let’s be clear on why this was especially confusing for both of us. We were and are still madly in love with one another. Our relationship was incredible strong and loving. Yet we didn’t understand how either of us could butt heads so much when it came to business. It was never a powerful struggle, it wasn’t even complete disagreement. We were shook.
Something wasn’t working. We didn’t know what it was. But what we did know is that our relationship comes first. That’s our only rule and don’t have sex with the windows open. Two rules. JK I made that second one up. YOU’RE WELCOME, NEIGHBORS. HAHAHA
We worked on better communication for at least a year until one tool, ONE SINGLE TOOL, completely broke it down so clearly for us and changed the way we do business together forever.
The tool that completely changed everything for us was a tool Laura Treonze teaches inside our Performance Coach Certification program. It’s called the DiSC assessment. Now sure you can look these up online (you can also look up how to do your makeup, buuuut we know it takes a pro to look as good as Beyonce.. and Beyonce ain’t googlin’ how to do her makeup.). Back to my point – it takes a real pro to teach not only what the DISC assessment is, but how it works, what it means, and HOW to apply it in your business and… YOUR RELATIONSHIP. She’s pure gold.
I remember the day when we were reviewing her material for the course. We were in bed, probably a Sunday morning, reading together when Jairek rolled over laughing so hard. Within 5 minutes we were in tears because it just made so much sense. Though we both knew the DISC assessment, we weren’t outrightly assessing who either of us were IN and OUTSIDE of business – because the tricky part was – we show up differently in and outside of business.
It was a HUGE relief.
This tool has completely shifted our filters and expectations of one another in business. We better understand each other’s needs because of it and we know how to best communicate with each other now, so there aren’t tears of frustration. There’s a lot more laughter, better feedback and FAR better understanding of why we do what we do and how to work better TOGETHER. HALLELUJAH!
You guys, I’m talking lifesaver.
If you’re in a relationship and/or thinking about running a business together, raising a family (they say it’s like running a business haha), then now is NOT the time to brush this off and think “yeah yeah I know it all”. Really dive in deep into what the DiSC assessment is, which profile you are – IN business – and OUTside of business.
That was a real eye-opener for me. Who Jairek is in business and outside of business is quite different. Rather than being confused, I can accept, appreciate and respect these different sides of him and learn how I need to show up to really add value and not drive the man freakin bonkers!
If you’re interested in learning coaching tools to help maximize your performance that are so helpful for business, relationships, personal performance, team performance – check out www.performancecoachuniversity.com/about
If you’re just wanting to learn about the DISC, check out Laura at http://www.lmtworthtalkingabout.com/
What is the DISC? – a quick overview from Laura’s site:
D-I-S-C represent the 4 dimensions used as the basis for behavioral analysis*
Dominance – how you approach and respond to problems and challenges and exercise power.
Some descriptors for people who lead with this trait include ambitions, forceful, decisive, direct, independent, and challenging.
Influence – how you interact with and attempt to influence others to your point of view.
Some descriptors for people who lead with this trait include expressive, enthusiastic, friendly, talkative and stimulating
Steadiness – how you respond to change, variation and pace of your environment.
Some descriptors for people who lead with this trait include methodical, systematic, reliable, steady, relaxed and modest.
Compliance – how you respond to rules and procedures set by others and to authority.
Some descriptors for people who lead with this trait include analytical, contemplative, conservative, exacting and careful.
If you’re wondering what we are on the disc, Jairek is a “Direct/Dominate” or “D” in business. He’s usually an “Influence” or “I” outside of business.
I’m just an “I” all the time. 🙂