The answer… ASK! “How am I doing!? Is there anywhere, or anyway, I can be an even more loving, respectful, and awesome loverrrr!?”
What I find interesting is the fact that, though we don’t get reports cards anymore (thank God!), we still do receive progress reports. While they no longer come in the form of how well we share crayons, they are in the form of quarterly performance reviews, taxes, credit reports. We pay so much attention to performance in our careers and finances, yet we fail to check our performance in the biggest and most important parts of our lives: love.
Do you know how you’re doing in your relationship? Do you know how fulfilled, loved, respected your partner feels in your relationship? When is the last time you asked for feedback on the kind of boyfriend, girlfriend, husband or wife you were? Does it scare you to ask? I hope not and if so, let’s change that!
I truly believe the honeymoon doesn’t (have to) end. While life takes us on this amazing adventure, it’s important that we don’t get lost, lose that spark, or worse, fall out of love because we didn’t didn’t check in with each other on how we were doing in our relationship. When we don’t stay tuned into our relationship it’s easy to the “little things” slip… and for most it was “all the little things” that had us hooked in the first place.
So here’s my challenge to you, check in with your love and ask them how YOU are doing.
Now, I know some of you may THINK you know perhaps because they tell you all the time. Maybe they tell you with encouragement and praise. Perhaps your feedback comes back to you in harsh words… Either way, there can be a better outcome. When we don’t check in to see how we are doing, we end up being reactive instead of proactive. We end up leaving it up to our significant other to tell us, which is exhausting.
Reach out and ask “How can I better love you, support you, share/learn/grow with you?”. Whatever it is which would truly make them beyond happy and even more in love with you, ask them how you can step up your game. Note: Don’t take the feedback personally, listen and understand as you would a friend. Then focus on how to improve. This gives your partner safe space to share which will allow your relationship to grow.
By sharing this information and giving each other feedback, it allows us to be more open and honest with each other rather than internalizing frustrations which ultimately result in emotional stacking.
With heaps of love,