How do you find a good man or woman? It all starts with mindset. It truly truly does. Stick with me. If you believe you don’t deserve (OR will never find) a great man or woman, and that’s the story you keep telling yourself. It’s undoubtedly going to be true…until you change your mindset.
Take a moment and think about kids. They are incredibly care-free, happy, and loving. It’s beautiful isn’t it!? That is… until they are told “no”or they are forced to eat their veggies. Then, things can get a little ugly. Kids being shaped by these experiences is no different than how we begin to shape our outlook and expectations when it comes to relationships – be it dating or marriage.
Part of growing up is learning from experience; what is wrong, what is right, what we can have and what we can’t have. Through the years, we transfer this information and start analyzing experiences in dating and relationships the same way. Doesn’t seem like a big deal, until you find yourself incredibly unhappy in your relationship, or lack thereof, your dating life.
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The problem is we condition ourselves to believe NOT anything is possible. That our ideal partner or dream relationship is nothing more than a dream… Because you’ve had your heart broken, you start to believe maybe you’re not deserving of a magnificent relationship with someone who loves you exactly the way you are and for who you are. Because someone cheated on you, you believe the next person will too because you’re not deserving of someone who is loyal and honest. Because every person you ever dated has talked down to you, so you don’t deserve someone to worships the path you walk. Because you date people who tend to flake on dates and plans, you believe you’ll never find a stand up person who says what they mean and means what they say.
Are you picking up what I’m laying down!? We become such victims of our past that we will continue to date the same types of people over and over again, simply because we don’t believe we deserve, or can do, better. We forget that anything is truly possible… be it a an amazing man or woman who we wish to share the rest of our lives with.
Now take a moment and consider how potent to your mind, body, spirit it is when you feed yourself those negative and inaccurate beliefs… If a kid was ALWAYS told no. Would they ever be happy? If you ALWAYS told yourself, I could never get a guy (or girl) like that, I don’t have a chance. Will you ever find yourself with your dream partner? No. In fact, they could be standing right in front of you. Heck, you could even be in that relationship (right now) and because you’ve programmed yourself to believe such false beliefs, you miss an amazing opportunity to be in (or stay in) the most beautiful relationship you’ve always imagined. The beliefs you feed your mind are either incredibly empowering or incredibly potent… choose wisely!
My challenge to you is to sit down and make a list of all the most desirable attributes you can think of about your ideal relationship. What’s that person like, how do they treat you, what do you do together… Continue to write down your ideal relationship, the one you’ve always dreamed of, but told yourself you didn’t deserve or could never get. Read and share this with everyone around you. Notice, the feedback. I’m sure you’ll get a lot of “You will find them I know it. You deserve it!” that you ever imagined. Most importantly, the more you feed your mind the stuff that really matters, the good honest positive truth, the sooner that dream will become a reality.
Throw away those old stories, they are holding you back from the relationship you truly deserve. Make it a ritual everyday to visualize what you want in life and your relationship, take the steps necessary to make it happen, and it will become your reality. This truly worked for me in a variety of areas of life, especially love and I know it will for you too.
With so much love,