What you’re about to read is some brilliant and fierce advice from NYC matchmaker Julie Nguyen of Modern Love Club. Enjoy!
In this day and age of oversharing, everyone has fallen victim to FOMO. And, New Yorkers have it. Bad.
Now, it seems like there’s always someone waiting in the virtual wings to be Mr./Ms. Right Now. This sparkling metropolis rolls 8.3 million deep, and attracts a select breed of extraordinaire visionaries who subscribe to the work-hard and play-hard mentality. New Yorkers are notorious for pushing the envelope, and want the best; whether it’s the latest promotion, or the bigger apartment in the bigger neighborhood.
Between juggling the 60+ hour work schedule with their bustling social calendar, it’s hard to find the time to go on 5 bad dates a week in hopes of that one great date.
Because of the surplus of fabulous singles in the city, this translates into the dilemma of having too many choices. While having the ability to choose is freeing, having to make a decision between so many complex alternatives can unexpectedly lead to anxiety.
Research shows that when people are given more options to choose from, people put off the decision as long as they can.
Which is fine. Except, when that paralyzing mindset carries over to their dating love and finding the person is already so nebulous and hinges on so many mitigating factors.
Dating aids like OkCupid and Tinder help churn out a higher volume of singles that are more than six degrees away from their friend group, and especially those who they wouldn’t be exposed to in their day to day life. It opens up microcosms of numerous communities, effectively broadening searches to more boroughs and people. But even though dating apps create more exposure, it also feeds into the problem: that overwhelming paradox of having too many choices.
This creates serial daters and can encourage the perpetual cycle of New Yorkers who never settle down.
Because of this, there is a profound value out of a curated experience. Someone who knows what you like, sifts out the short-term to the long-term, and aggressively champions for your own happiness in your personal love life.
Enter the matchmaker.
Matchmakers are the tastemakers of the world, the curators of exceptional people, and the natural connectors in the community.
While past connotations of matchmaking have more serious connotations, matchmaking is no longer purely just for the marriage-minded. Matchmaking is the perfect fit for the person looking to break out of bad dating habits, meet vetted, cool individuals and have a curated date selection each week. Each step of the way, we place the most value in your romantic identify and self-actualization process, and by introducing you to people that you will be genuinely compelled and blown away by.
Matchmakers are useful in building in accountability, and converting passiveness into a more conscious energy in client’s dating lives. We try out new things to allow for outliers. Most importantly, we eliminate the problem of too many choices. Each day, we go on 9 one-hour interviews for our clients each day, and only vouch for the vetted, select individuals we think are your match. The many, becomes the defined few.
With this method, dating is no longer a numbers game. Instead, it becomes a thoughtful excursion into the type of partner you don’t just want, but ultimately need.
In a city of 8.4 million people, aren’t you just looking to meet the one? If you’re in the NYC area, check out Amy Van Doran and her team of matchmakers extraordinaire here at Modern Love Club.