Are You Undateable? I Mean, Would You Date YOU?

Of course you’re not undatable!! But do yourself a favor: take a step outside of yourself and ask “Would You Date You?”No really!? Would you? This is something REALLY important to think about.I mean if YOU didn’t want to date yourself (ALL THE TIME), than why would anyone else?

See Also: The Truth About Promises in Relationships

I was thinking about this recently when I was apparently drugged, aka high on hormones (it was that time of of the month, ya know). I was emotional, sensitive, crying, pissy, just NOT my normal happy self. Then, when I wanted him to pull me closer, I noticed him backing off a little. (Rightfully so! Hello, I was kind of a nightmare to be around!)

So that’s when I do what I do best – I looked in the mirror (figuratively speaking!). When I did I thought “Look at me, I’m not loving, caring, free, flowing… I’m a tornado of emotions. I’m sensitive and overreacting to everything he (or anyone) does.” I couldn’t even love myself in the moment. That’s when it clicked. If I can’t be loving right now, how can I expect anyone else to love me?Maybe it doesn’t sound so profound reading it, but my challenge to you is to ask yourself this regularly: If YOU can’t love you, who can?

Now, sure it’s easy to say yes when you are your best (hello, aren’t we all irresistible when we are our best selves?)! But when you aren’t your best (late for work, flat tire, terrible meeting, dog ate your shoe, huge zit, whatever!!) would you still date you? The thing is, it’s important that even when life throws you lemons, you make grape juice, then sit back while the world tries to figure out how you did it!

Now, you might be like “it’s not me blahblahblah” and could argue that it’s him. (I’ll stop you right there! No blame games, got it!?!) Here’s what I mean, maybe you’ve been waiting on your man to, say I don’t know, take out the garbage, get off of his phone, remember all of your best friends names, whatever… and you feel like you’ve had it up to here and you’re about to explode if it goes on one more minute… and it does.

So you snap. You say something short, sassy, maybe use foul language, or worse start speaking in 1-2 word sentences such as “nothing” or “I’m fine”, so he legitimately things nothing is wrong and that you are actually fine. This is a problem.

Here’s the thing, we let ourselves become so overwhelmed with “stuff” that we let it drive our lives, love and emotions. If we cannot productively handle the curve balls life throws at us, we’ll likely not only hurt ourselves, but everyone around us. Ultimately, you’ll end up feeling empty and alone.

So let’s change this:When you’re a little grump monster, stop, and ask yourself this:

Would you want to talk, hang out, go out, play, flirt, kiss, make love to, or even be in the same room as you when you aren’t your best? The likely answer is NO. NO. NO. NO. and it’s cool. Totally understandable. Frankly, when I’m not my best me, I don’t like me either. But here’s the deal… The more you keep pulling that crap, the more you’re going to push people away, the most important people, the people you love.