Ever wonder why so many men dislike the holidays? Notice how men often ‘check out’ when it comes to holiday party planning and how they’d rather be glued to a coach watching football, even if they don’t regularly watch football?
After recently talking with a few guys about what drives men crazy about the holidays, it made my heart hurt and my face cringe. So, why don’t men like the holidays? Because of women, mainly. We cause relationship disasters around the holidays. (I’ll explain) Thus, this blog post is mainly dedicated to women out there who love the holidays so much they go a lil cray, yet they’d love to find a way to make their men love the holidays too!
First off, I want to share exactly what drives men nuts about us women around the holidays. Then, I’ll explain why we do what we do. Finally (in the next blog post), I’m going to share with you the perfect holiday party planning strategy that you and your husband or boyfriend will both enjoy!
What are these relationship disasters we should avoid and how do we drive men nuts about the holidays? This is not limited to Halloween, Christmas, Thanksgiving, Hanukkah, or any other group holiday…
1. We Get Controlling.
Though it varies by person, everyone has a need for control. A woman’s need for control is heightened dramatically during the holidays, which creates a ton of stress for everyone especially your boyfriend or husband. Likewise, when a woman is very controlling she’s utilizing her masculine energy to the table (as feminine energy is less controlling and more ‘go with the flow’), which either challenges the other masculine energy (from your man) or kills it. Either way, polarity and attraction is lost.
2. We Have Unrealistic Expectations.
Bless our hearts. We spend hours on Pinterest loading up on the perfect holiday party ideas, only to find 99% of these recipes, decorations, and photos nearly impossible to recreate. We set our expectations so high for ourselves (and our boyfriend or husbands) that we ultimately feel like failures and so do our significant others.
3. We Freak Out.
Here we go… “Oh, dear what’s his mom going to think?” “Why can’t my family just get here on time for dinner?” “Sh*t, I’m late on sending Christmas cards and forgot their Christmas gifts!!” “OMG! We forgot green bean casserole” You name it, we freak out over it. We fail to focus on what is going right and freak out about everything going wrong.
4. We Judge Ourselves.
There truly is no better a judge than a women. Women judge each other and judge themselves. It’s the inner cave woman coming out in us that judges us with an assessment that if we fail, we will die. It’s a rubbish belief. When we break ourselves down with judgement, we lose all confidence. Confidence is one thing that is most attractive to men.
5. We Obsess Over Perfection
The only thing perfection does is perfectly create conflict. When we expect everything to be absolutely perfect, we will indeed fail perfectly. Often women expect a laundry list of perfections: a perfectly attentive husband or boyfriend, perfectly shoveled driveway, how perfectly strung holiday lights, the perfect holiday gifts. Perfection ultimately kills the holiday spirit and your spirit as a woman. Your new mantra “Perfection comes from my imperfections”. Quite the cave woman who seeks perfection, and remember we are loved and perfect for all our imperfections.
Now, just take a step back. Do any of those 5 things sound attractive to you at all? Dear sweet baby J, I hope not!!
In the next post, I’m going to share “To Do’s” to truly have the best holiday season and holidays parties that you and your man love and enjoy!! Stay tuned!