“When trying to solve the problem doesn’t seem to work, what are you left to do when you want to help someone you love?” I ask.
“Just love them” he says.
I’m pretty sure at that point tears went streaming down my face. I was so confused. Why can’t I just fix it and make it better. I care so much about my sister that the mere thought of ‘just love her’ wasn’t enough to help her (at least to me). I needed to do something, I needed to fix it. I hate to see her stressed, sad, and frustrated.
As a few more of my (unwelcomed) tears went streaming down his shirt, I realized HE’S RIGHT. I mean he’s always right… well usually! I need to just listen and love her. I don’t need to fix it, I don’t need to help, unless she asks for it. In fact, this is exactly what I ask from him sometimes, “I need to vent, just listen please.”
You see, most women (myself included) just need to vent when they have a problem. Women just need someone to listen to them when something is bothering them. Women need to share all the feelings, frustrations and everything else we tend to keep inside of us. This is exactly why women need to vent, we store tons of feelings, frustrations, emotions, etc inside of us. Eventually we overflow of everything we’ve been holding on to and we need to get it out because it’s weighing us down. Thus women VENT. We let it all out, let it all go and feel refreshed.
Men prepare yourself for confusion: Women do not always need a solution. We don’t always need help immediately. In fact, when you try to help or give us a solution, as crazy as it sounds, it makes us feel like we are incapable. So stop. Just listen.Just listen, just love and forgot about fixing it as hard as it may seem. We will ask for help when we are ready. In fact, the best thing a man can do when a woman is sharing her feelings and emotions is ask “is there anything else?” (prepare yourself for another 20 minutes venting frustrations and feelings!). Trust me, listening will make her feel a millions times better than you just fixing the problem. Proof: The moment she gets everything out, after wiping away the tears, she will hug you or hold you and say “Thanks for listening”…. You are now her hero. Mind boggling to men, lifesaver to woman.