We had a another major talk about money recently. Major like, an unexpected 4-5 hour conversation sprinkled with a little frustration, bits of confusion, a few WTF moments, maybe tears… then something really amazing happen. We had a huge breakthrough.
An “AHA” moment. An “omg he/she finally gets it and is equally excited” moment… and it hasn’t gone away, so I’m excited to share.A talk about money is an important one, so now that we’ve had a huge breakthrough and are super stoked about the future (again) I thought I’d share some lessons and tools from our money conversation that helped us a ton and might help you too should you ever hit this bump!
Here’s a little background:
Jairek is deep into his dad’s new book “Unshakeable” – It’s a game-changer for achieving financial freedom. Go buy a copy!
How to Talk About Money In 5 Fun Steps
If you find you and your boo in disagreement or simply not on the same page with finances do the following:
Step 1 – Know that you’re not alone if you find it hard to talk about money with your partner.
You’re not the only couple that may disagree at times, or always, about money. It’s one of the most common things couples disagree and have to work through.
Why is this important?
Step 2 – Stop labeling each other as “right” or “wrong”
Being “right” or “wrong” won’t fix anything, it’ll only make it worse. So stop it!
If we believe one of us must be right and the other person must be wrong, we’re looking at a downward spiral of resentment and withdraw because neither of you will feel trusted or respected. So knock it off!
We must remove the beliefs or labels of right, wrong, good or bad, otherwise this money issue will continue to surface for years to come.
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Step 3 – Become a Detective. Dive DEEP into understanding each other’s money blueprint (experiences, beliefs, values, rules, knowledge) to better understand each other.
This is where true magic happens. Become a detective of their thoughts and beliefs around money. It’s so incredibly powerful. In fact, the only reason why you are in disagreement and can’t see or understand each other is because you don’t know what they know or don’t know. What they believe to be true, what they’ve experienced first hand, etc.
4th Step – Define your future money vision separate then put them together.
Hear each other out. What does your each of your visions look like? Take that and then create a version which embraces both of them.*
5th Step – Rinse and Repeat.
Now here’s the kicker, you must revisit this. I promise you’ll get better at it with time! We certainly have.Life happens, things change and maybe someone slightly changes their mind about this plan. Cue the alarms going off because suddenly the agreement has been broken or modified. In that event, just go back to step one and repeat until you’re on the same page again.