How to Be Present in a Relationship and Avoid Fear, Worry and Questions

Ego Speak: The little smack talking, full of doubt, cynical, and quite cowardly voice that certainly does not bring out the best of us. It’s a voice in our heads that typically haunts us and our relationships. When it comes to dating and relationships, that voice makes us question and doubt…a lot. The result: we are not fully present. Instead, we are victims of living in our (negative) past or (high expectations) future as we let this little voice speculate and over-analyze the very meaning of everything, which only results in pain, stress, and disappointment. When we listen to our egos we become prisoners of our mind. It’s not until those voices are silenced that we are truly living in the moment, both present and free.

Guilty as charged. I’ve certainly had to overcome doubt, stop over analyzing, questioning, and worrying about things happening in my relationships, career, family, you name it. Having tuned out ego speak, and turning into my heart, I am able to truly be myself, present, confident, loving, courageous, and creative. And just like that more and more amazing things flow into my life and the negative noise is gone. That same can be said for a variety of amazing men and woman I’ve shared this insight with as well. Once your ego is silenced and you are fully present, you and life both become more radiating and full of love, peace, and happiness.

(end of tangent) And so there’s my inner spiritual gangster shining super bright. I’ll stop there and turn it over to the expert (and someone that explains ego in greater depths), Eckhart Tolle.

I wanted to share an excerpt from The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle (who is AMAZING!!). Tolle educates people around the world about the power of presence, stillness, and simply being. I highly highly recommend reading his work. In the meantime, here are some of my favorite quotes from him as well, which can (and should) be applied to your love, and relationships or wherever else you see a fit!

Enjoy!

On the Ego’s Search For Wholeness, an excerpt from “The Power of Now” by Eckhart Tolle:

“As long as the egoic mind is running your life, you cannot truly be at ease; you cannot be at peace or fulfilled except for a brief intervals when you obtained what you wanted, when a craving has just been fulfilled. Since the ego is a derived sense of self, it needs to identify with external things. It needs to be both defended and fed constantly. The most common ego identifications have to do with possessions, the work you do, social status and recognition, relationships, personal and family history, belief systems and often also political, nationalistic, racial, religious, and other collective identifications. None of these is you.”

On Moving Deeply into the Now, an except from “The Power of Now” by Eckart Tolle:

“The ego’s needs are endless. It feels vulnerable and threatened and so lives in a state of fear and want. Once you know how the basic dysfunction operates, there is no need to explore all its countless manifestations, no need to make it into a complex personal problem. The ego, of course, loves that. It is always seeking for something to attach itself to in order to uphold and strengthen its illusory sense of self, and it will readily attach itself to your problems. This is why, for so many people, a large part of their sense of self is intimately connected with their problems. Once this happened, the last thing they want is to become free of them; that would mean loss of self. There can be a great deal of unconscious ego investment in pain and suffering.”